Anxiety enfolding the post

As an ongoing senior, The question I get asked generally is "so that, What are your plans after graduating,

If asked every single year, I would naturally answer by naming prospective job options or discussing my computer applications to graduate school. even so, all the while a senior this year, My answer hasn't updated. What has changed is my fear of answering questions on my future.

With the clock ticking down and graduation approaching in a couple of months, I'm so much more fearful of responding to questions on my plans because I'm still uncertain about what I want them to look like. This has led me to spend countless days and nights either studying or job hunting.

School normalized a routine that a person else would plan for me. I created my schedule by picking classes that had preset certain times that worked well for me. Attending lectures and studying for exams constituted my main accountabilities. Although I still worked a in someones free time job, dealth with my family and planned for my career throughout each year of college, Only in my senior year did the true weight of all the impending assignments I will soon have to take on hit me.

As I still actively seek a full time, Post school and work job, I also must begin to plan on making wise financial decisions and cleaning my aging parents. It feels as though I face great sea of choices, Making it easy to feel insecure about what step to take next when faced with numerous needs.

Such worries have also only highlighted my ongoing feeling of imposter syndrome. It didn't help that i had taken a gap year after my second year at UC Berkeley, Leading me to fall one year behind most of my friends. I watched from the side lines as they all excitedly graduated together and are now acclimated with either graduate school or their new careers. Despite their reassurances and as well my own, I still couldn't help but desire I was always one step behind.

While they're all already making progress towards achieving their aspirations, I'm still racking your brains on what mine even are. when comparing myself to my friends and other seniors, I always end up feeling like I come up short. My sense of impostor syndrome tells me that I'm not as able, As hard of a worker or as shiny as them.

with these thoughts, I've become unclear about what I'm working towards. Is my weariness from nonstop studying, Extracurricular happenings and incessant job searching worth it? Will I even feel happy and fulfilled in the jobs I'm submitting an application for? to handle my confusion, I had to take a step back from purely basing my self worth on just my feats alone.

If i'm going to break through my burnout, I need to first reevaluate my term success. Up to this date, I defined success by career driven accomplishments and financial freedom and stability. alternatively, My experience with excessive anxiety and burnout taught me that I'll never be happy with myself if I continue to base my self worth on those things only.

yet, today's society and the birth of "Hustle society" Have placed immense desires on us to be productive all the time. Anything that doesn't give to our careers charmdate scam or add to our wealth equates to productivity and is consequently shamed and looked down upon. We can't seem to rest without feeling created, Even if it comes at the money necessary for our physical or mental health.

Yet the truth is that we all need a break every single. It's wrong to require everyone to be high functioning and able to direct all their wedding ceremony towards work 24/7. We all naturally have different work capabilities, Therefore we'll naturally be at different stages of life vs our peers.

even, Rest is just as important. The chestnut, "Stop and take a break, Should be emphasized even more in contrast to the present productivity norms. for myself, Who isn't as high doing the job as many of my peers, I'm learning to build a healthy relationship between work and rest. I've been reminding myself to take a break too, To enjoy the last remnants of my young adulthood and college days and get it fast.